persiflage

we're waiting for you to catch up  

February 3rd, 2011

Save the world from her eyebrows/ of beautiful illusion.

Jack Kerouac


Classifieds

For sale: Complete Works of Jeffrey Chaucer. That's no typo. Includes Jeff's works: The Rabid Accountant and The Rabid Accountant at Home. Two of his great books on accountancy. $25. Box 1040.
Guitar Lessons: I can teach anyone to play Pipeline on the guitar within a year or your money back. Box 30.
For sale: scripts from the plays I wrote in high school for Mr. Wilkin's English class. Including: Jenny and Jason; My Friend Gary and Home Room. All signed by the suthor (me). $17 ea. Box 109.


The Mystery of the Lost Lenore

Listen to Part Ninety-One

Click on the picture. (3:04)

Or start from the beginning.


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persiflagemag@hotmail.com

Mister Backyard Looks at:

Winter's Natural Joys

There are few pleasures greater than looking out your window some February morn and seeing the trees in your yard (or someone else's) covered in hoar frost. It is just one of winter's many natural joys.

The fresh fallen snow covering all the earth making everything clean and pretty; the little tracks of the sparrows who've hopped over the surface searching for some thing to eat; the giant billows of visible breath as you pant your way through great mounds of heavy snow; the sharp sensation of your hardened cheeks as you face old Mr. North Wind.

Winter is truly a wonderful time of crisp affecting sensations and sights. Is it not wonderful to feel the blood returning to your fingertips when you come back in after working outside, perhaps scraping the marvelously patterned sheets of ice from your automobile?

Do you not feel sometimes like a giant bear or some other woodland creature as you trundle, bundled in your many winter layers, through the snow and ice? Peering through the tiny slit in your balaclava are you not intently focused on your footsteps right in front of you? All the distractions of a warm summer's day are removed.

Winter is a time to revel in the sensations of your body as it reacts to the bracing stimuli of a world gone cold. Do not shy from venturing out of doors. It is there that you will find that you are indeed a true part of the natural world and not just subject to its laws but an awed recipient of its joys.

Tough Guys Finish First

A Story by Ford Johnson, Male Novelist

There was no way. There was just no way. He wasn't second to anyone. It was his. No one could take that away from him. Not without paying for it. Big time.

He squinted his eyes. He was getting closer. He was getting nearer with every step. Soon he would be on them. Then they'd see. Then everybody'd see. They'd all know who he was then.

He gritted his teeth. He set his eyes - hard. He was focused. Straight ahead. Like an arrow he moved. Ever closer to his goal.

Nobody. Nobody was going to get in his way. Nobody and nothing.

And then, suddenly, he was there. Victory was his! He crosse the finish line! First in his age group!

It was the best Family Fun Run ever.


Mitch Finds a Date

world female population between the ages of 15 and 64:
2,124,494,703

women between the ages of 15 and 64 who speak English:
102,825,540

30% in dateable age range 25-40:
30,847,662

10% I find attractive:
3,084,766

10% would find me attractive:
308,477

33% currently available:
101,797

1% not put off by my social standing
10,180

1% not put off by my personality
102

1% geographically available:
>1