March 24th, 2011
If cash comes with fame, come fame; if cash comes without fame, come cash.
Jack London
Classifieds
For sale: Turnbridge's Illustrated History of Illustrated Histories of Illustration. Complete with illustrations. 100$. Box 13.
For rent: rare two story mobile home. Can be moved anywhere (with some difficulty). Must possess own method of transport although we might rent you our Percherons if we like your face. $450/wk. Box 908.
Willing to trade in on my good looks. Box 23.
Thanks to all the participants in last week's symposium. If someone you know was attending and has still not returned home not to worry. A group at one of the after parties went on a road trip. Thief River Falls was mentioned. We are sure your loved ones are fine. Stop calling here.
The Mystery of the Lost Lenore
Listen to Part Ninety- Eight
Click on the picture. (3:03)
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Tell us how you've been. Or ask us how we've been.
Sure, everybody loves crosswords but doesn't it get a little dull doing them the same way all the time? Of course it does. But now there's
THE PERSIFLAGE REVERSE CROSSWORD CONTEST!
All you have to do is make up clues for each of the answers in the crossword pictured over there on the left (our left) and email them to us. You could win a prize!
But remember: a contest is not like cold November rain, it doesn't last forever. So make sure to start today!
ACROSS
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Should something else go in here? What do you think? Is the space irritating? The whole website?
The Binkington Binkingtons
Once upon a time there was a happy couple who were known as the Binkington Binkingtons. They were called this because his name was Binkington and her name had also been Binkington before they were married. It was a remarkable coincidence as they did not seem to be related no matter how far back they looked into their respective family trees. It was just one of those things.
The Binkington Binkingtons lived on a short street called Flower Lane that ran off another longer street called Flower Crescent. Flower Crescent ran into another even longer street called Flower Street right near where it intersected with Flower Avenue. It was often difficult for people to find the Binkington Binkington's house.
The Binkington Binkingtons had two children, Berry, a daughter and Adrian, a son. Berry, the eldest, was a very athletic girl who did well in school and was very punctual. Adrian loved boats.
The Binkington Binkingtons were a happy family and they lived what most people would consider a fairly comfortable, fairly contented life. They were not thought of as wealthy but the Binkington Binkingtons made a decent living at their respective jobs. Mr. Binkington Binkington was a food inspector for the provincial government and Mrs. Binkington Binkington was a graphic designer who worked for the university.
One day when Adrian Binkington Binkington was walking home from school thinking about boats he suddenly heard a voice behind him. The voice was saying "Avast ye matey" which Adrian found kind of curious. He turned around and saw before him an elf. Yes, an elf.
Adrian Binkington Binkington knew it was an elf from the way he (the elf) was dressed. The elf explained to Adrian that his name was Steve and that he had come to "this neck of the woods" to bestow upon a deserving family a wonderful magical gift. Adrian, hoping that it was a boat, took Steve home with him.
The Binkington Binkingtons were a bit taken aback by Steve but soon warmed up to him when they heard about the wonderful magical gift.
That evening after supper they all sat down in the living room to watch Steve's Powerpoint presentation.
A lot of it was pretty hard to follow and Steve had gone a little overboard with the background music and effects but the gist of the thing was that Steve was going to leave with the Binkington Binkingtons a magical goose.
This magical goose, whose name was also Steve, had the power to make really affordable meals that were also fairly tasty and, at the very same time, do a laundry and clean the house reasonably well. The only catch was that Steve, the goose, was pretty free with his opinions about the Binkington Binkingtons, their appearance, their likes and dislikes and their general demeanour.
However once the Binkington Binkingtons got so they could tune out the goose's harsher comments, they lived very happily and with the money they saved by sacking the woman who came in and cleaned twice a week they were able to buy a boat.
So in a way Adrian was right.
C. F. Maynard